Really, it’s a dog and cat’s life. My life should be as cushy as theirs. We have one dog and two cats. I only adopt black cats because I feel they are discriminated against. Only adopt from shelters because A.I can’t afford a breeder and B. Breeders are too bougie for me, I’ve always grown up with animals, so it’s only natural we had animals once we had kids.
Like most people, our pets are just like our additional children and are treated accordingly. Take our six-year-old dog, Coco, as an example. Coco is an Australian kelpie (we think)and has adopted our daughter’s personality and I am convinced they are living parallel lives. Coco was two years old when we adopted her from a neighbor. She was a pandemic dog and we are so glad she is part of our family. We can’t imagine life without her, but boy is she spoiled.
For starters, let’s discuss her living arrangements. This is her house, we are all just guests in it. She has the obligatory dog bed, but also lays on every couch, sleeps in every bed, but especially favorites our daughter’s bed and sleeps with her head on the pillow. She sheds everywhere so keeping up with the amount of dog hair around my house is impossible. We just wear dog hair as part of our everyday fashion.
Coco has an obsession with babies, stuffed babies. She has a basket of stuffed toys that is overflowing, and I am convinced adds up to well over 100 stuffies. Each one is given equal attention by her, chewed upon, bathed, and carried around. She has a particular kind of obsession to any kind of stuffed elephant. I guess they’re just the right size for her mouth.
Her appetite is, how shall we say, healthy. She dines frequently on dog food, bones, cat food, cat litter, and of course, people food. If you are a medical professional, don’t come after me and I know the basics of chocolate and grapes are poisonous to dogs, but this girl can throw down chips and salsa and is always up for a good burger steak. She likes her cooked, medium rare.
Most days she gets a run with her dad, a possible walk with me and her daily car rides, which she absolutely adores. We fill her ears with daily affirmations of just how beautiful she is. She has the best life and is adored by all except for Zoe and Lucy.
The Cats
Lucy, a.k.a. fatty McMayer, is the older of our two black cats. You would think Coco is royalty, but to be honest, Lucy is the real queen of the castle. Lucy will be your best friend nuzzling and headbutting you one minute then can turn on a dime and take a bite out of your flash like an apple. She eats everything inside, including dog food and bacon, and demands a freshly cleaned litter box for her tush and a bowl of lactose-free milk served on the dining room table, every morning. She’ll play with the occasional mouse or stray insect but really can’t be bothered with much else as she’s innately lazy. Her large girth is a testament to lack of physical activity and that’s just the way she likes it.
Of course, poor Zoe is a unique cat. We adopted her from the animal shelter after we went to get a cat and I chose her because someone else wanted her and I couldn’t bear to give her up. We were told she was a feral creature, and she has totally lived up to that. She basically lives under our bed in the master bedroom. Don’t get me wrong, she leads a very comfy life and is certainly not neglected in any way. She comes out every night when she knows the dog is locked in her sister’s room and she has run of the house. Her litter box, toys, food, and water are all safely secured in our master bedroom closet, which allows her the safety and anonymity she needs. She’s a pretty funny girl and always has a lot to say. I love that about her except at 4 AM when I get up to pee, she wants to have a full-blown Convo. Not happening.
If I had opened an animal sanctuary, I totally would, as I would adopt every homeless animal I could. All of God‘s precious creatures deserve a loving home with plenty of belly, rubs, car rides, and Papa chino’s. Every incarnation was a thing I would want to come back as one of my pets. They don’t have a care in the world except a real fear of balloons, they know God will supply their every need, and they are in our lives just to spread joy and provide some calm inside the chaos of our lives.
